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Dec. 25th, 2008

CHRISTMAS DAY SPECIAL

CHRISTMAS DAY SPECIAL

It looks like the Theophagus blog won't be coming back any time soon - there are quite a few songs that didn't get posted, and I'm thinking of selling a DVDR data disc full of them some time in the future. But here are a few holiday-themed songs I wanted to share with you and yours. Happy Crimmus!

XMAS BROKEN GUITAR SONG (DEMO)
XMAS BROKEN GUITAR SONG
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 1998)

My grandmother has an acoustic guitar next to her sitting room couch - it's been there as long as I can remember. It's still there, but has been relegated to ornamental status due to missing strings and broken tuning keys. The point? One Christmas, I picked it up and wrote a song on it. I then came home and tried to duplicate it, complete with the bizarre tuning.

WHO CARES ABOUT XMAS?
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 2000)

The sample is from "Teenage Christmas", a Christian youth scare film from the fifties.

MRS. PISS CHRISTMAS
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 1998)

The "Mrs. Piss Christmas" vocal is in 5, the "duh-duh-duhn" is in 4, and "uhhhhhhh" is in 3. I wanted to see if I could get them all to match up on one breath. I report success!

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Oct. 14th, 2008

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: THEOPHAGUS HIATUS

my computar-box took a hearty digital dump all over my head last week - I will resume the Theophagus blog as soon as sanity allows.

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Oct. 9th, 2008

Totally Clean

TOTALLY CLEAN
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 1998)

This is the third Theophagus song that appears on The Midnight of My Life soundtrack. This is the instrumental edit for the film; the original had a faint bit of distorted spoken word, the lyrical highlight of which was, "settle for nothing less than nothing."

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Oct. 8th, 2008

Beartrap

BEARTRAP
(8-track recording; recorded in North Highlands, 1999)

This is the second of three Theophagus songs that appear on The Midnight of My Life soundtrack.

I put my sneakers in the dryer, and was delighted to hear this impossibly steady shuffle rhythm. This isn't looped at all - I recorded 5 or 6 minutes of this sound, and made this spooky little tune over it. (This version is edited for time.)

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Oct. 7th, 2008

Job Security

JOB SECURITY
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 2000)

This is one of three Theophagus songs that appear on The Midnight of My Life soundtrack (Las Pesadillas provided the rest of the score, and Bob Barango contributed the haunting "Hairy Scary Pig Man"). In the film, it played behind an army of zombies marching through midtown Sacramento.

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Oct. 6th, 2008

Almost Irish

ALMOST IRISH
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 1998)

The lead here is a two-hand tapping thing I came up with, and this recording is a very slow (almost half speed) rendition, just to document the chord structure.

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Oct. 5th, 2008

The Oxygen Board

THE OXYGEN BOARD
(4-track recording; recorded in Orangevale, 1994)

Some good ol' lo-fi industrial noise to relax those jangled nerves. The title comes from a story in Judge Dredd number one.

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Oct. 4th, 2008

Savini

SAVINI
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 1998)

Grande illusions
Death, contusions
I'll show you things beyond your wildest dreams
A scream, TV, oh no
False perceptions, inspired inceptions

Beyond some imagined utopian career in music, my second answer to "what do you want to be when you grow up?" was "gory horror movie make-up artist." Tom Savini was my favorite. I'm astonished that my copy of his book Grande Illusions is still in one piece, however ragged.

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Oct. 3rd, 2008

Frust

FRUST
(live PSR-500m recording; recorded in Orangevale, probably 1994)

If you recognize the title without looking it up... you're a winner AND a loser!

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Oct. 2nd, 2008

Gutterball

GUTTERBALL
(live cassette deck recording; recorded in Citrus Heights, 1996)

I'm waggin' my tail as I tell this dog to behave
I'm waggin' my dog as I tell this tale
to save the dog waggin' my tail
As I tell this, I'm being brave
In a cave
In jail

I don't believe I ever planned to flesh this out any further. Why mess with perfection?

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Oct. 1st, 2008

Greatest Love of All

GREATEST LOVE OF ALL
(live cassette deck recording; recorded in Citrus Heights, 1996)
Words and Music by Michael Masser and Linda Creed
© 1977 Golden Torch Music Corp. (ASCAP) and Gold Horizon Music Corp. (BMI)

I didn't bother cleaning up this recording very much, because I'm not sure it should have ever seen the light of day, frankly. But this MP3-a-day stuff is starting to get to me, so fuggit - I have days to fill if I'm going to make it to the finish line!

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Sep. 30th, 2008

Pink Slip Detuned Blues

PINK SLIP DETUNED BLUES
(live cassette deck recording; recorded in Citrus Heights, 1996)

Having a Beck moment.

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Sep. 29th, 2008

Olla Podrida #5

OLLA PODRIDA #5
olla podrida \ol-uh-puh-DREE-duh; oy-uh-\, noun;
plural olla podridas /-DREE-duhz/ or ollas podridas:
1. A stew of highly seasoned meat and vegetables.
2. A mixture; a hodgepodge.

BEIONGEO
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 1998)

This is what the Germans call Sprechgesang.

8-VOCAL TEST
(8-track recording; recorded in Orangevale, 1997)

Recording 8 tracks of vocals for the first time on my brand-new recorder.

THE LEVEL CHECK SONG
(live cassette deck recording; recorded in Fair Oaks, 1996)

Just checkin' the levels, whoo-hoo.

OLLA PODRIDA #5 - SENSITIVO OCTOPUSSO SPOOKO
(live cassette deck recordings; recorded in Citrus Heights, 1997)

The cassette deck fun continues! Here are three segments from a demo tape in the order they appear - part of an acoustic song, an attempt at one-man-band-manship, and a bit of keyboard discord.

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Sep. 28th, 2008

Parktheme

PARKTHEME
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 1998)

This little ditty was recorded directly following Nebuchadnezzar. Think of it as afterbirth. Actually, no, don't.

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Sep. 27th, 2008

Larissa's Face

LARISSA'S FACE
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 1998)

Riding a pine box through deep space
All around
The spaceships still look like fakes
They told me what it takes:
Not to try and hide the wire
but to make the wire stronger
Gathering rocks on her face
Deep in the ground
They came back to let me know the proper way to go:
a heading far beyond the fire
But wait a while longer
'cause I don't remember which way is down
The mouth of moon talks of a place milk-way renown
Resurface the punk opaque
Don't matter why it's fake
Belly up and then retire
and wait a while longer
for the sky to shower embers
Then we'll go down

Space junk. Almost grunge, come to think of it.

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Sep. 26th, 2008

Nebuchadnezzar

NEBUCHADNEZZAR
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 1998)

The first riff played here is a good example of my earliest guitar compositions - absurd chord combinations held together by something geometrically satisfying. Whether it sounds good or not is up to you.

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Sep. 25th, 2008

I Saw Christ

I SAW CHRIST
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 1998)

Reflections in the whiskey spilled on the bar
showed a man who used up his time
The wife and kids took off in my car
and I just shot down my last dime
Then the door to the bar swung open wide
and a cold gust of wind blew in from outside
I started whistlin' "Here Comes The Bride" when she walked in
A siren was she, with fire in her hair
and a painted-on denim physique
A honky-tonk heartbreaker with lust to spare
and a ten-gallon tweak of the week
She took off her coat and brushed back her locks
and then she bent over the old jukebox
I breathlessly ordered a scotch on the rocks
and a chaser of sin
Then a voice said, "You're hitchin' a hellride!"
and a vision in the stitchin' of her backside
On her jeans of blue, the yellow threads grew
into a picture of Jesus
I saw Christ in your jeans
I saw Christ in your jeans
Tonight / Last night

This is very much a demo - I was planning much more grand orchestration. The swerve into operatic needs to be much more ridiculous for the joke to work. It also seems like a parody of country music parodies - a caricature of caricaturists. Anyway, it sucks. But the lyrics are sort of funny.

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Sep. 24th, 2008

Mothra My Dear

MOTHRA MY DEAR
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 2000)

Today is Linda McCartney's birthday. This recording is based on (and features) the infamous bootleg of Linda's isolated backup vocals from a Wings concert. I wrote an alternate chord progression to fit the melody, then mixed in her vocals. The silly title may seem a bit insulting, but it was conceived of independently - this is more of a tribute than it seems. I wanted the bootleg to redeem itself, if you can dig that.

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Sep. 23rd, 2008

Misplaced Everything

MISPLACED EVERYTHING
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 1998)

A perilous compound, a time of misplacement
We rode the descentor straight down to de basement
I heard Chinese talkbox, I drank double-fisted
but by lubrication she was unassisted
I gotta lotta time to kill
so I think it’d be best if I was climbin’ the walls all nite
Calypso collapse-o within Slater’s coven
We’re having a bake-off in Sylvia’s oven
You came to the right place for butternut skweemic
The bachelor party that wasn’t bulimic

I revised the Mini-Thins tune with these confusing lyrics. The last line refers to the joke about the "bulimic bachelor party" (punchline: the cake jumps out of the girl).

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Sep. 22nd, 2008

Mini-Thins

MINI-THINS
(4-track recording; recorded in Fair Oaks, 1995)

The name is redundant, the feeling's repugnant
I won't ever get it, my stomach don't let it
The cheaper the pill pop, can't afford truckstop
Life, I just take it in
I'm binging on mini-thins
I've got a lot of work to do
So I look for assistance from a little bottle of pills and a cold Mountain Dew
The "thin" could refer to
The thinning effect you experience fasting
Cheap high ever-lasting
My head is a soda pop, the poorer man's truckstop
The wired, tired sick spins
I'm suckin' down mini-thins
I got a lot of time to kill
So I figure it'd be best if I was climbin' the walls all night
Just one more pill

"Truckstop" was a prevalent name for speed (at least among my friends) when this was written. The first two measures of the vocal melody sound like "Big Bottom", but I think I had only seen This Is Spinal Tap once. It was a total subconscious ripoff, an accident.

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Sep. 21st, 2008

Delayed Reaction (medley)

DELAYED REACTION (MEDLEY)
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 1998)

SECONDARY MARMOSET

I'm devoluting while I'm barbecuing deep in space
I've got a pencil holder velcro-taped onto my waist
a secondary marmoset is manning the TV
and backups of the fatware should be coming to see me
Backups and backups and backups of fatware
Backups and backups and backups of fatware

BEAUTIFUL BUOY

The CEO of OSI is running

SMILING WIZARD ASSAULT

Minding all the while the smiling medieval wizards
The smiling medieval wizards

SICK IN THE HEAD

Where do you go at the end of the day
when everything sweet has rotted away?
Do people redeem you or wish you were dead?
Sick in the head
Do you drink from her shoe or a faucet outside?
Do you declare murder while wearing their hide?
Do you wish sometimes you could take back what you said?
Sick in the head

HIJO DE PUTA

Es rica muy loco, hecho en Mexico
Hijo de puta mi amor

LOWERCASE

Ooh hoo no
And the pain that I feel in the wilkers
A roany side a-walkin nair onto mon any say sure when

ALMA MATER

Petty abuse isn't helping
Your power belongs to yourself
Deaf to the small puppies yelping
or a trophy to put on your shelf

ALMA MATER AGAIN

Stay away from the bad place in the woods
Stay away lest you become damaged goods

NORL

Watch me walk and try to speak
The words come out all wrong to me
The victim of the rumblin' stage
The fuel's (all gone and so's my face)

Some vocal delay pedal loops, with lead vocals utilizing snippets of unused lyrical scraps. One of these is an obvious Eddie Vedder parody.

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Sep. 20th, 2008

Miss Parasite

MISS PARASITE
(8-track recording; recorded in Orangevale, 1997)

You ask me why did I leave you
For the girl in the malted liquor ads
I'll tell you why you still need me to explain it to you
Just this final time
Why must I be so analytical?
Why must you be so ectoparasitical?
Take you away from this billboard
Take your extension ladder and your Dutch Boy paint
You ask me how could I hurt you
I'll explain it to you just this final time
Why must you be so damn illogical?
Why must you be so ectoparasitical?

An unambiguous piece of fiction - the jilted lover is climbing up on a billboard and painting a moustache on the picture of the woman her ex left her for. Pretty silly.

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Sep. 19th, 2008

Dockside Watering Hole

DOCKSIDE WATERING HOLE
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 1998)

Today is Talk Like a Pirate Day. Yarrrrrr Jim Lad hoist the focsal sapsucker aloft and so forth.

The main part of this song later became the intro for the Radio Orangevale song "Through the Rows".

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Sep. 18th, 2008

Fine Home

FINE HOME
(4-track recording; recorded in Orangevale, probably 1995)
written by Paul Leary © 1991 Latino Buggerveil Music (ASCAP)

I didn't think Paul Leary's solo album was all that bad. This is in response to his own claim that it was "crap."

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Sep. 17th, 2008

The Longest Balls

THE LONGEST BALLS
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 1998)

It's so cold out, and it's so drafty
And life like mine, you're keeping warm
And it's a fashion, she's so crafty
and somebody's everybody to me
But I wish that I could leave my post in the Arctic Circle
To star in blue movies
But duty calls
I've got the longest balls
I've got the longest balls
I know I could become a star if I tried
But how do I escape from this trap?
It's freezing cold as the Arctic midnight falls
I've got the longest balls
Joined the Army and I was demoted
I couldn't keep my claim to fame inside my standard-issue shorts
But I wish I could go back home to be a porno star
Exiled away, I want to smash the walls
I've got the longest balls
I've got the longest balls
I know I could become a star if I tried
But how do I escape from this trap?
It's freezing cold as the arctic midnight falls
I've got the longest balls
Balls

"The Longest Balls" is the slogan of Top-Flite (or is it Spalding?) golf balls. How I started there and arrived at this story (about a soldier aspiring to be a porn star on account of his gigantic scrotum) will remain a bizarre mystery.

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Sep. 16th, 2008

Quad

QUAD
(8-track recording; recorded in Rancho Cordova, 1999)

I'm getting bad reception, but I never got the wedding
That (of course) is par, but I don't recall giving a heading
And you know that shotgun dress was just the end of her bloodletting
So I had myself a grand time
Found myself at off-track betting and I'll do it again
The little white lie in my spellcheck
Is the ramblin' wreck from Georgia Tech
And I'll be satisfied with the way you used to be
Pep squad quad finally got the fear of God
Off the brake and on the gas, I gave it all a rest
And that sodding, plodding wait is done and I got it off my chest
I'm just so through with the role of fool I played (close to the vest)
But I know, too, that what I'm gonna do is what a fool would do the best
And now that little white lie in my spillcheek
Is the Earth that inherits the corpse of the meek
And you'll be satisfied with the way I used to be
Pep squad quad finally got the fear of God
Kind of like the opposite of chemical restraint

Recorded directly following the remade version of World's Greatest World, and the conditional warning about poor vocals applies here as well. This is more of a non-specific song, vaguely describing feelings and moods rather than actual events.

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Sep. 15th, 2008

Black Hole Heart

BLACK HOLE HEART
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 1999)

Moody little instrumental.

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Sep. 14th, 2008

Space Marine Hustle / Space Marine Lament

SPACE MARINE HUSTLE
SPACE MARINE LAMENT
(8-track recordings; recorded in North Highlands, 1999)

Two attempts to make something interesting by overdubbing the noises of Quake and Doom II. I'm sure the original concept was to jump and shoot in rhythm, but I just started playing the game normally and forgot about the recording.

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Sep. 13th, 2008

Orphan of a Rock Opera

ORPHAN OF A ROCK OPERA
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 2000)

This is sort of an even more compact rock opera than Bring Me Men To Match My Mountains, and taken even less seriously - I improvised some words, added "backup vocals", and there you have it. The short gospel interjection in the coda about Jesus, Mary and Joseph stepping off of the elevator was something to fill in the space before the tape ran out.

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Sep. 12th, 2008

I Saw Your Dream

I SAW YOUR DREAM
(4-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 1999)

I saw the steam from your dream in the hall
I should be shamed and infamed
Not at all
I took a peep, faked my sleep, totally still
One-sided show was a low of the will
Lei suona il cuore molto bene
Ascolta la registrazione il nostro della suo canzone preferita
I heard the steam from your dream in your room
Light black as night on a fight sure to resume
You think I get desperate
But tell me true
How do plans progress into a mess when planned by you?
Sometimes it's over before it's begun
Ascolta la registrazione il nostro della suo canzone preferita
I saw your dream
And my dream

I hadn't had access to double-speed recording on a 4-track in some time, and it shows. And again, please excuse the poor Italian.

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Sep. 11th, 2008

Vashti's Fortress

VASHTI'S FORTRESS
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 2000)

I have a number of short demos and sketches that are performed on multi-tracked bass guitar. This pretty yet oddly-titled one was recorded in the final days of the year 2000.

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Sep. 10th, 2008

Ponyskin

PONYSKIN
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 2000)

It's the return of the whammy violin from Wiggin' Out! And it's very strange that I happened to mix this one down on the same night that I bought this from a Halloween store:

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Sep. 9th, 2008

Half Moon

HALF MOON
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 1998)

I steered my wagon toward the sea
We headed back at five to three
You know that something’s got to change, and it just may as well be me
Just like an older state of rust without the state of being just
Corroded morning doesn’t seem so strange
When you kill yourself it won’t surprise me
Now who’d of thought you’d hear the sound go to the shore and all around
I’ve learned the triangle by touch while never being so profound
When one is furthest from a saint is when one never says he ain’t
So when this poetry becomes too much
When you kill yourself it won’t surprise me
My newfound self-esteem says I don’t need you
My newfound self-esteem says I don’t need you anymore

The first attempt at a "Theophagus band" was a trio that existed around 1997-1998. This song (which ends abruptly at the end of the tape) is about one night when we just got in my car and drove the 100+ miles to Half Moon Bay, for no reason. We got out, looked at the water, and drove back.

The rest of it is about me and the drummer, who - you guessed it! - just happened to be the mystery roommate who a LOT of Theophagus songs are about. I'm more than happy to humor her demand that I never mention her name again.

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Sep. 8th, 2008

Where the Scorned Go To Die

WHERE THE SCORNED GO TO DIE
(8-track recording; recorded in Orangevale, 1997)

I found my body waking, with my mind an open cut
A smoky old Victorian with windows painted shut
Spider webs of black lace and flowers dead and dark
The all of gothic renaissance two blocks behind the park
Who, not what - why, not who
Would I be drunk from the shine off the moon?
Or drunk off the shine from the moon?
Either way, I’m gonna need a ride home pretty soon
Her figure in a shadow creaked along the floor
Just at the last minute I saw something over the door
It was an ancient parchment with words which made me cry
It read in black calligraphy: "Where The Scorned Go To Die"

The second part of the chorus, the grammar question about moonshine, remains unanswered. The rest of the lyrics are from a dream I had about my friend Heather - the lace and dead flowers were once in her apartment, but I was imagining it in a location downtown, near McKinley Park. Little did I know that she would not only eventually get married IN the McKinley Park rose garden, but she also moved into a house on Santa Ynez, mere blocks BEHIND it. Spooky, man.

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Sep. 7th, 2008

Mock Trial

MOCK TRIAL
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 2000)

Guitar solo, featuring PSR-500m noise. I found that if you bend the "muted trumpet" sound beyond its normal range, it produces strange and unpredictable high-pitched theremin warbles.

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Sep. 6th, 2008

Jaunty Angle

JAUNTY ANGLE
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 2000)

Say, Mister Metalhead, how-do-ya-do?

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Sep. 5th, 2008

A Reflective Surface

A REFLECTIVE SURFACE
(8-track recording; recorded in Orangevale, 1997)

I was wet behind the eyes and wise beyond my ears
Through the hole in the wall I got myself a glance
That's when I saw death and wasted twenty years
I don't know which to take:
One more drink, care, or a chance
I'm a new man, you are now less
Feel any different? Not yet
Thrilling and sad
You'll kill 'em all and let God sort of sigh
and just shrug his shoulders
I don't feel so good
I think you'd better drive me
Up the wall one more time
I insisted I'd stay and dissipate
Always I'd get that sense of disillusionment
Teeming with covetousness and my self-hate
But this time it was rare that I felt amusement
I'm a new man, you are now less
Feel any different? Not yet
Thrilling and sad
You'll kill 'em all and let God sort of sigh
and just shrug his shoulders

This noisy lament has some cringe-worthy lines, but I'm still fond of it.

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Sep. 4th, 2008

Blame it on Rio Linda

BLAME IT ON RIO LINDA
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 2003)

Take a drive on couch ditch mile
Have a line of coke and a smile
But it's toothless and upside-down all the while
I remember all the way back when
Yard-car hotel 'till I was ten
And the go-fast mill in the backyard exploded again

There's a stretch of Rio Linda road notorious for discarded couches. I'll figure out exactly where it is and post it someday.

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Sep. 3rd, 2008

Tranny

TRANNY
(8-track recording; recorded in Orangevale, 1997)

I can recall loving the scent of clover and flame
A warm summer night
Poets in heat all fall for one
One in the same but out of my sight
Watch us both not watch us
Transmission must hit her
You knock me unconscious
My transmissometer buried and pinned from your light
My Transylvanian Saturday night
I overheard just what I'd missed
Right where I stood I travelled back
Up in the sky
I saw the three and it was good
Watching me act around my lie
There was the one who saw me through
Saw through me then
Me and loose lips missing the point
The one wanted two, I wanted ten
Watch us both not watch us
Transmission must hit her
You knock me unconscious
My transmisometer buried and pinned from your light
My Transylvanian Saturday night

I titled this song before I realized that "tranny" was a common term for "transsexual." Bullshit or Not?

This is about having a crush on someone for years, only to find out later (too late) that she'd had the same crush on you the entire time, and you were both too shy to do anything about it. Mega-fuckin'-bummer.

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Sep. 2nd, 2008

Ugly Tree

UGLY TREE
(4-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 2000)

Happiness is fright'ning when it shows up in your grasp
It's haunting you, it's daunting to
be left the one to ask
And I do what's important for me
I built a clubhouse in the ugly tree
And when I lose my balance
All my talents will no longer bear my weight
And when I lose my balance
All my talents will no longer bear my weight
My skills of architecture will insure
my fall down to your town
I fall down from the branches into your arms
I fall down to your town
and the ranches and farms provide a rhyme

I'm not sure what I could possibly say about this. It's upbeat, that's for sure.

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Sep. 1st, 2008

Kid Salami

KID SALAMI
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 2000)

Everybody talkin' bout the Kid Salami
I got the kinda pecker e l'incrociatore

I guess you could call this a "character" sketch or something. I was picturing a horrible old Italian lecher comparing his dick to a battleship.

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Aug. 31st, 2008

Dirt-Doer

DIRT-DOER
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 2000)

Here we have another instance of finding an alternative use for shoddy rap lyrics. I'm gonna just not type out the words to this. Yeah.

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Aug. 30th, 2008

Bronze Turd

BRONZE TURD
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 2000)

Sleepy-eyed baby with love to spare
She put a tattoo on her ankle and she tied back her hair
If she's the pendulum, we must be looking down the pit
And here's the situation from the seat in which I sit:
A game of wit, the bait of tit
A childish little shit and a pair of pawns
That turd is bronze
With the satin on her ass and trouble on her brain
Eventually she found herself a-burnin' in the rain
If she's the pendulum, we must be looking down the pit
And here's the situation from the seat in which I sit:
A game of wit, the bait of tit
A childish little shit and a pair of pawns
That turd is bronze

Yuck! Two things I discovered when I unearthed the original draft of lyrics: this song's original title was "Venus of the Simile (Bronze Turd)", and the word childish was written down as childing. Implications from the woodwork!

Posted at 11:00 am | | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Aug. 29th, 2008

Here I Go Again

HERE I GO AGAIN
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 2000)
written by Bernie Marsden and David Coverdale
© EMI Virgin Songs Inc. d/b/a EMI Longitude Music Inc.

Paul Simon having sex with a fog machine on top of a Jaguar. Ladysmith Black Mambazo wearing leather pants and blond rocker wigs.

Posted at 09:18 am | | Leave a comment | 1 comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Aug. 28th, 2008

Oregon's Gone

OREGON'S GONE
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 2000)

Mornin' on the floor again
I bought the liquor store again
Dreamin' 'bout the Oregon sky
Picked up my telephone, it's ol' Jimmy Two-Tone
Lyin' 'bout how he's bone-dry
You can tell the way he talks
He had his dinner on the rocks
And he's sleepin' in an ice box now
Lookin' for an old friend
But I ain't got no love to spend
And I'm too far from Oregon now
My thirst is second only to hunger
When you got nothin', pity's free
And that crow's not getting any younger
So I better put him out of his misery
Got up off the lino
I knew that there would be no
Vodka/Pellegrino drink
Got a green recycle bin to put all of my mem'ries in
Told my troubles to the tin sink

Some distorted Waits-farming. The backing vocals on the chorus are recorded over the phone.

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Aug. 27th, 2008

But I'm Shyer

BUT I'M SHYER
(8-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 1998)

I'm unclear on the lyrics to this one; I'll get back to you.

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Aug. 26th, 2008

Saanen Hock Chevon

SAANEN HOCK CHEVON
(4-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 2000)

I could jump from the top of a building with my face washed clean
Our eyes would meet
You'd fall for me then
Love at first sight, all the way down
I could rip out all of my I.V.s with both my lovin' arms
You'd see my point
You'd love me again
Love at first sight, to the very end
This is not the ensemble I had in mind
But I do it the same ev'ry fuckin' time
The title is irrelevant, it's still the same fuckin' song
That's why I called it somethin' stupid
Like "Saanen Hock Chevon"
If I could just put down this pen

This song of dejection explains both its own title, and why it ends when it does. I pieced together the title from terminology found in a guide to goats.

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Aug. 25th, 2008

It Really is the Little Things After All

IT REALLY IS THE LITTLE THINGS AFTER ALL
(4-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 2000)

This is sort of a cousin to HMFIGKYA, since the title is what I'm saying into the harmonica. ...actually, it's not really a cousin to that song, it's more like the deer tick embedded in the back of that song's head.

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Aug. 24th, 2008

Poi

POI
(4-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 2000)

General annoyance.

Posted at 12:44 pm | | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Aug. 23rd, 2008

Flippy Floppy

FLIPPY FLOPPY
(4-track recording; recorded in Sacramento, 2000)

She want flippy floppy
But all I have - agape.
I have no excuse except
her slunt was kinda copy.
She want floppy flippy
But it was just so trippy.
It goes to show, you never never know,
so always bet on bippy.

Ha ha.

Posted at 04:37 pm | | Leave a comment | 2 comments | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

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